Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Monogamy - Is it normal?

I consider myself a one-on-one, type of gal. I never quite understood polygamy or polyamourous relationships, at least not from a practical stand point. I mean, sure, maybe it would be nice to be like Empress Nympho from "History of the World, Part 1" and have my pick of manliness on any given evening. And, I'm sure that there are quite a few men out there love having their pick of women any given night. I'm sure that there are many doing so right now. But once the fantasy and the pleasure of the moment is over, then what? Back to the reality of emotions, diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

But in this world where monogamy is the social standard, I keep hearing time and time again that monogamy simply isn't normal. That's why men and women cheat. They are just giving in to human nature.

That got me to thinking. If it is our human nature to have more than one partner at a time, just where did the idea of monogamy come from? Is it more of a religious thing that we have just over time have socially accepted as law?


Cat said...

There is an argument for both sides. WE are thinking ever changing our minds creatures so it is natural that we would want different partners over time. But on the flip side, God created us to love and he gave us jealousy. If we were meant to have more than one at a time, why would we be so jealous. Or are the people in open relationships simply more enlightened?

Erika 2004 said...

@ Cat: I was thinking the same thing, in terms of the jealously aspect. If monogamy isn't normal for most people, why is there jealously? I would suppose that the bottom line is that it all comes down to choice. For some, an open relationship is best. For others, exclusivity. No one is right or wrong in the matter. It just comes down to what you and your partner want in the relationship. And hopefully, both partners want the same thing.

Amy - my email said...

Hi, I just fell across your blog and decided to comment.

Taken from:

Regulations of unions between men and women first became important when private property became important to a society as a consequence of the growth of cities; at that point, the males wanted succession to be concretized and regulated. This idea of private property also coincided with the onset of monogamy. Stricter monogamy and private property ownership worked together since the inheritance of the property was decidedly the children of the owner. Therefore, the father took the most logical means at his disposal to guarantee that his property was inherited by his genetic offspring.

Basically society formed it to guarentee that the biological children got the property, since they didnt have the science to find out otherwise.

I dont think that jealousy means that it is not natural. Jealousy is only anger or fear of the one you love leaving you, loving you less, ect. Example: You get jealous some people make more money than you, does that mean it is not natural for you to only make minimum wage?

I think that jealousy is only an emotion to cover up another emotion, fear, anger, insecurity, ect.

Im in an open relationship and while we only love each other, we occasionaly bring others into the mix.