Monday, July 16, 2007


I hate weddings!!! Well, at least weddings that appear to be nothing but a big show. Which is what I was subjected to this weekend...a big show.

The wedding was supposed to begin at 3:30pm. Most weddings run late and this was no different. The wedding didn't actually start until 5:00pm. My husband and I arrived around 4:30pm, anticipating a late start. Now, although the invitations said 3:30pm, I couldn't help but think that the wedding was actually supposed to start at 5:00pm. The cameraman and videographer were not completely in place yet. I later find out that this was the bride's plan all along. She didn't want anyone to walk in late for her performance. Had I been there on time at 3:30pm, by four, I would have been out the door.

The ceremony was nice, just a bit over done for my taste. And looooooooooong. It may have been only an hour, but that hour just seemed to drag to no end. When it finally did end and the wedding party left the church, the pastor called the wedding party back into the church just so he could preach a bit and recruit for about 10 minutes. Now, I realize that may be the only time that some of us heathens are going to set foot in the church, but is a wedding really the time to start recruiting for new members? It's more of a turn off for me. I hate being preached to. I hate having religion thrown in my face.

We get to the reception, about 6, 6:30pm. Of course, the wedding party has yet to arrive. They are off at the waterfront taking pictures. The guests are left to stand around and nibble on cheddar cheese and sip bargain basement liquor. I thought that I could at least get a liquor buzz. Shit, not off these watered down drinks. We weren't allowed into the reception room until the bride and groom arrived, which didn't seem to make much sense to me. Shouldn't we all be seated when the new couple make their grand entrance? Almost two hours later, the couple finally arrive. About damn time! We can at least eat now, right? Actually, we wait again, about another half hour. During the wait we are subjected to the requisite speeches from the best man and the two maids of honor. I didn't pay much attention, too busy looking for my plate of food, except for a comment made by one of the maids of honor...something about "liking it from the back". And the comments she made about the groom...she stopped short of telling the bride that she would take the groom if the the bride didn't treat him right. With friends like that around, it will be interesting to see how long the marriage actually last.

Finally, dinner is served. Or did we actually get the leftovers? Seriously, each table of ten people was served two lousy platters, one with vegetables and potatoes and one with spinach stuffed fish and flank steak. Fish and meat on the same platter seems like a no-no to me. Both the fish and meat was dry. There was a little gravy on meat in an attempt to cover that fact. The vegetables and potatoes were okay, but since we had to share with the table, there wasn't much to go around. It felt more like a snack than dinner. I can't believe they paid $65 a plate for that. I wonder how many people went out to McDonald's after that B.S. dinner. It was time for me to go. I was done.

In the end, I hope the bride got the wedding that she wanted. It was, after all, her day. But one would think that she would have had a little bit of consideration for the guests. It felt like one big ego trip.