The first month of the year, gone already...

...and I didn't post one damn thing!!! Hmmm, I suppose I had other things to do then post to a blog. Or perhaps, I just didn't have anything to write about. A bit of both, more of the latter.

I spent most of January going out a bit more, meeting new people, just trying to have as much fun as possible. I hope to continue that trend for the rest of year. I need more small getaways, especially. My husband and I are planning a few. But I also want to find more girlfriend traveling buddies.

My time drainer last month was the Facebook "25 Things About Me" madness (here's one writer's view on it). I don't usually give in to such madness, however, for some reason, I felt the intense need to bare my soul and make 25 of my Facebook friends stand witness. It was fun, slightly narcissist, sometimes interesting and a bit revealing. One of my revealing facts was my inability to make and maintain friendships with other women. I think that was the first time that put that in writing and looked at it. Then I started to really wonder, "why?".

I blame my problem partially on some unfortunate episodes in high school. But I also had a thought that maybe female friendships have a level of complexity that I am unable to fully assimilate. Strange, considering that I am a female. What am I missing? Well, I'm not the typical "girlie" girl. And I hate the occasional female friendship fakery. They're friends to your face, then talk some serious mess behind your back. What's the point? I'm too old for that. So, I guess my problem is that I tend not to get close to other women because I'm always wondering are they being fake towards me, as if they are doing ME a favor by allowing me to be in their presence or are they filled with nothing but drama.

But, honestly, I think I tend to over think the situation entirely too much. My occasional self-deprecation doesn't help all that much. I have talked myself out of invites because I just, in some way, I decided that I didn't have much to offer or that I would feel uncomfortable. It seems so silly because when I have forced myself to go, I usually have such a good time.

So, goal for this year? Overall, I just plan to be more open to enjoy what comes.