A Tribute

My great-grandmother passed away about a month before my 10th birthday. She had suffered from two strokes, the second one left her unable to speak and, as far as my family knew, unable to recognize any of us. But I think that was able to recognize me, at least for a moment. I stood by her hospital bed and she looked me right in the eyes. She reached out to me and touched my hand. I remember being a little spooked. I think it was because of the look in her eyes. They were so sad, like maybe she knew that she was going but she didn't want to go just yet. A few days later, she was gone.

Fast forward twenty years later. Yesterday, my mom told me that an old family friend, Mrs. B., was really sick and I told her that I would stop by. Mrs. B. had been sick with cancer for 5 years now, so her being sick wasn't a surprise. But how bad she had gotten was a surprise. I walked in totally unprepared. I did not realize that she was so close to death. She so tired and weak, could barely talk. She was able to recognize me though, she called me by name. But she stared at me, in almost the same way as my great-grandmother. I was taken aback, because I knew in that moment that Mrs. B. did not have much longer to live. I fought to hold back my tears, but not hard enough. I had to leave and cry it all out. I came back a little later with my mother, but she was sleeping and we wanted her to get some much needed rest. But, unfortunately, she didn't wake up. Mrs. B. left us at 2:30pm, Sunday afternoon.

This woman was more than just a friend to my family, she and her family truly was an extension to my family. I have so many wonderful childhood memories of her. She was like the den mother of the neighborhood. She was always looking out for us. You don't neighbors like that too much anymore. People tend to move much more often these days.

Mrs. B will definitely be missed by anyone that was fortunate to have known. I miss her already.

Stalker songs

I was thinking about this on the way to work today. Off the top of my head, I could think of three and they could almost be a build up of stalker-ish behavior.

"Until You Come Back to Me" - Aretha Franklin

This may not be the criminal offense type of stalking, but still an annoyance. Subtle, but annoying. Knocking on doors and tapping on window panes. You don't want to tell 'em to f**k off, but this getting old.


"Outside Your Door" - Ms'Shell Ndegeocello

You've been trying to be nice by politely ignoring the phone messages, ignore rapping and tapping at the front door at night. Now they are getting a bit more aggressive. Waiting through rain showers on your front step just to confront you. You feel bad that the person isn't taking this well, but you have moved on. But the person is so persistent, you let 'em in, talk, one thing leads to another, oops.


"Parkway" - Gaelle

Okay, maybe that last "roll in the hay" wasn't a very wise thing to do. Your consist rejections have finally pushed 'em over the edge of rational thinking. Now, the person is sneaking in your home and lacing drinks with cyanide. I suppose the person is slightly PO'd.

What other stalker songs do you know of? Any genre. I know I've heard others, I just can't think of any right now.

One of the reasons I allow myself to be subjected to music TV

Occasional music gems like this. A Zap Mama and Eryah Badu collaboration.

Very uncharacteristic of this anit-diva...

...but I went for a little retail therapy. Nothing like a trip out of town for a little motivation. What surprised me is that I actually had a little fun. I typically don't like to shop for clothes. But my wardrobe is much to be desired and I am getting a bit too old for just slapping on whatever fits.

But today, I don't know, something just came over me and I had to spend money. I found two nice sweaters and a pair of flaired out jeans, with the seams on the front of the legs. I think part of the reason that I was so gitty was after I tried on the jeans. I started with the with one size. Not quite the fit I had in mine. So down a bit, not quite. I was pleasantly surprised and pissed at the same time. It was nice to be a pants size smaller, but of course, the next size down was not there. Damn it! When I have the money and I want to spend it, I can't get what I want. Well, at least I got the sweaters. I'm still looking for those pants.

Side note about those pants, and like, every pair of pants I've tried on lately. Are all pants meant for women who are 5'7" and up in height? There does not seem to be a petite, average, tall designation anymore. I guess that means I need to wear heels now??? One step at a time for me, one step at a time.

Mixtape sessions

One of the little known things about me is that in high school, I had aspirations of being one of the few female DJs in the Baltimore area. Part of the problem was I never really cared to mix the more popular stuff, so my hip hop mixes left a little to be desired. So I did a few remixes here and there, some better than others. I've been coming across a few of those mixes and redid a few since technology makes it so much easier than it was on two turntables and a tape deck but in day. I've finally got around to posting them up on the web. The genres will be all over the place as my musically interest is, well, some would say strange, I would say eclectic.

If you feel so inclined, check out this link. My first entry is a slow jam mix. Originally, it was a strictly late 80s/early 90s mix, but changed one of tracks to a newer Janet song, I thought fit the groove better. Definitely a baby making groove. If you download it, let me know what you think. I am going to try to do this on a regular basis, but do not expect the same thing all the time. Like I said, I will probably be all over the place! It will mostly depend how I'm feeling.

Slept on album from '98

I've been going through my music collection and came across this CD from 1998.

N'dea Davenport did a few stints as the lead singer of the Brand New Heavies. After her solo, I just knew that she was going to blow up. But alas, the music loving public has not heard much from her lately. I've heard her do a few cameos here and there, but that's about it.






Here are my three favorite cuts on that album:

Whatever You Want



Bullshitin'(love Mos Def, but prefer it w/out the rap. couldn't find it on YouTube)



Bring It On (again, like it better w/out the rap)

One way to relive those teenage years

Steal your daughter's identity and enroll in high school. That's what one 33-year old in Wisconsin did. And then she joined the cheerleading team and attended an pool party.

School authorities mentioned that she did look a bit too old for high school but her demeanor appeared to be the maturity level of a teenager.

When I first read this story, I thought maybe she looked older, as in college student older. No way! Check this woman out. They is no way I would have, or anyone for that matter, mistaken this woman for a 15-year old high school student!

The Mother of all bailouts

That is what they are calling the government's move to bail out the bank industries debt. And it is a mother -- $700 BILLION in banks' mortgage debt. $700 billion...of taxpayer's money to make the payment. What bothers me is why couldn't some of this money go to the homeowners' that lost their homes due to, in part, some of the unethical practices of the same banks that the government now plans to bailout with OUR money?

On one hand, I really hate the idea that these companies are getting bailed out of a situation that they caused. Greed in the sub-prime mortgage trumped sound business practices. On the other hand, something has to happen in order to prevent a total economic meltdown. At least for the time being. There is no guarantee that this move will work. I don't really see how it could work long term. Not for the average citizen, anyway. The rich and powerful can make these huge, egregious errors and put the country in such economic disarray and the government just bails them out?

But then, maybe the government should bail them out. After all, the government is just as much to blame. They sat back and allowed much of this economic imbalance to happen. As long as the government sees plenty of their share, they were more than happy to turn the other way. All of this sounds too much like the Great Depression but potentially so much worst.

The bottom line is that the average taxpayer will be the ones who will suffer the most. There is no doubt that the government plans to replace that $700 billion by adding new taxes to an already overtaxed nation. It would probably make sense that maybe, just maybe the businesses that we are bailing out might be force to pay a bit of that debt. You would think, right? But that just makes too much sense.

This is just too much

I have a confession that I have admitted to before. But I am an avid watcher of the TV show "Cheaters". Shame on me, I know. With such a show, you get a few "interesting" product and services commercials. This one on in particular, I'm still having a hard time believing that it is for real. See for yourself...

Oh no, the end of the world is at hand!!!

I'm sure many of you have heard about the Mayan prophecy, right? Well, I just heard about it this week. According to the Mayans, the last day as we know it is on December 21, 2012. Doesn't leave us much time, I suppose.

Ok, so now what? Most of us, I'm sure, are pretty jaded on the whole end of the world prophecies. Weren't we supposed to be all supposed to be dead at the stroke of midnight 8 years ago? Well, needless to say, we are still here.

There are a bunch of prophecies about the end of the world in the bible and I'm sure that there are those people would swear me up and down that every natural disaster proves that these theories are true. Let's just say, I'm not so convinced.

Anyway, back to the Mayans. The prevailing thought is that they stopped their calendar at that specific date because time as we know it will no longer exist. I'm thinking that they stopped at the date because they knew that is was highly unlikely that any of them were going to see that date and tried of writing. That was my first thought.

Notice that I say "time as we know it" and not "life as we know it". Amidst all the end of the world paranoia, there also the thought that maybe the only thing that will change is the way we think about time. The way we keep time. Time has gotten so elusive to many of us these days. Will we finally be able to slow down and realize how precious life is? Spend more time instead of wasting it?

I guess it's just another why to look at the whole prophecy. The truth of the matter is, we will never be able to truly know what the Mayans were thinking. But I tire so with the end of world crap that so many people subject themselves to. If the time has come for the human race to cease inhabiting the planet, I don't think there is much we can do about that. Like the dinosaurs, eventually we may have to go.

New Toys

I logged into blogger account to see a few changes. I thought that maybe that a sign to change the look of the blog a little. If I had a little time, not to mention a bit more inclination, I would do it right. I would make it a bit more personalized. Oh, well it is what it is. Subtle change indeed, but at least a little something different to look at...

A Now and Then Music Flashback - "Settle for My Love"

I'm an old head when it comes to most music, so when Musiq Soulchild released his rendition of this song, I was immediately turned off. I heard the first few notes and sat there like "no he didn't!!". In my mind, there are some artists that you simply do not touch, in my humble opinion, anyway.

However, I finally gave in and listened to the entire song. Musiq did a nice job with his rendition. He made it duet (although I think I would have liked it fine with just the female lead) and added a few other touches that made it his own.

The original was performed by Patrice Rushen, one of my all time favorite R&B artists. Both versions are below.



from the album "Pizazz"



from the CD "Aijuswanaseing"

Water: The New Wine?

I came across an article about the Four Seasons Hotel in Sydney. Apparently, they have added a water list to they menu. This is to address the concerns from patrons that want to consume less alcohol, but still want the experience of fine wine selection. So, instead of selecting from the finest varietals and regions, the experience is now about minerals, levels of carbonation and guessing what water complements what dish. What??? IT'S WATER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! HOW MUCH DIFFERENT COULD IT POSSIBLY TASTE???

Well, for as much as $85 dollars a bottle, it better be the best damn water that I have tasted in my life. Ok, I know water is good for you and all that. But damn!!! $85 a bottle!!! And, I can't even get a buzz? I will continue drinking water from my Brita filter, thank you very much.

I had to pause for a moment...

...and say how beautiful the weather is in B-more today. For the first time in a few weeks, I walked to my car without becoming drenched in sweat the moment I walked out the door.

It was a beautiful 72 degrees with a gentle wind, bright and sunny. Yes, this is the type of day my picturesque vacation is made of. Because of the rain the night before, (uh, scratch that, it was more like a torrential rain storm) my allergies weren't bothering me at all.

I felt the need to run away and do something fun. I so wish I didn't have to work today.

What would you be doing today if you weren't working???

Music flashback - "Don't Be Afraid"

Listening to my iPod this morning, my random play came across this '90s gem, Aaron Hall's "Don't Be Afraid". Originally on the Juice soundtrack, there were so many versions of this song, I have totally forgotten which is truly the original, the one on the soundtrack or the one on his album. There was certainly a range of versions. Fast tempo ones for the club, a slow version for the bedroom.

I wasn't really an Aaron Hall fan, especially after he left the group Guy. His solo efforts were so-so for me. Not terrible albums, just not albums that I would be playing 10 years later. And I didn't find him as attractive as so many other women. Blasphemy, I know. I just thought he was nasty. He was the "nasty man" after all. But he ain't got nothing on the music coming out these days. Male singers these days don't merely suggest what they want, they find the most raunchiest way to say it.

Anyway, I found a couple of versions of the song on YouTube and wanted to share. Enjoy!


Nasty Man's Groove Version



Jazz You Up Remix



Slow version from the album

Family friendly...sex toy store???

A family friendly sex toy store? The idea is to take the sleaze out of the sex industry. This store in particular apparently blends into the neighborhood. There are no over the top sexual images, no big banner signs advertising "XXX videos here" like most places. But, of course, there are people in the neighborhood who have a problem with it, even though you would probably not know what the store sold just from looking at the outside.

And the inside, from the video I saw, was very tastefully done. It seems to take away some of the embarrassment most people feel when entering a sex toy shop.

Here's more of the story.

I have to ask. What is the fascination with...

...Jon and Kate plus 8??? I get more traffic from google.com searches for that one topic than anything that I ever wrote in this blog. I thought it was a mistake. But sure enough, all day long, people are searching for Jon and Kate information. Wow!!! I only talked about it once, well twice now. Sorry to disappoint any one, but this is definitely not a Jon and Kate blog. I watched one full episode, thought they were insane to get pregnant for a second time with use of fertility pills and really didn't like the way Kate interacted with Jon. He seemed like the ninth child the way she talked to him at times. I figured the rest of the series would be more of the same.

But I read somewhere, I'm not sure where now, that that is the reason so many people watch this show. Unlike other "reality" TV show, this doesn't appear to be scripted in any way. Also, those of us with children especially, may look at our lives and think that things in our lives are sooooooooooooo much better in comparison. If they can do all that on one salary with eight kids, what the hell are those of us with only one or two kids complaining about? Although, I have to believe that they are getting some subsidy from TLC. Why else broadcast your private family life to the world? And seeing that there is so much interest on the Internet, there has got be a way for the family to capitalize.

Happily single and permanently celibate...on an adult single's site???

Okay. I get the 'happily single' part. That's cool. Some people seem to think that being single and happy is impossible. Personally, I love my husband, love him to death. But then there are those times when...ooooooooooo, don't get me started. If anything irrevocable ever happens and our relationship ends, I really don't think that I would ever, ever live with a man again. I could see dating again, but I couldn't see getting married again. It's just too much damn work and I'm not willing to through it a second time.

The 'permanently celibate' part? Hmmmmmm. Okay, not for me, but I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who are fine without sex, ever. In fact, I just recently read about a 107 year-old man from Hong Kong that credits his long life on his sexual abstinence of over 70 years!!! (Damn!!! I would say something crass here, but I'll be good today.) However, if you are 'happily single' AND 'permanently celibate', then why, why I ask, would you place a profile on an ADULT singles site? If I'm not mistaken, most people go through the trouble of placing a profile on these sites to find people to date, hoping to find a relationship, which could possibly lead to sex, right? Of course, I think in this case, the members are probably strictly looking for just the sex, I'm sure. But I'm saying, I gotta ask again, if that is not your interest, why waste other people's time?

Her reason? In summary, from my prospective anyway, she takes perverse pleasure in going out with guys that want her but know that they can't. Just sounds like a big tease to me. To each their own, I suppose.

Out of curiosity, to any of my readers, I ask you, male or female, would you date a person who has taken a vow of chastity? And, I don't mean until marriage, but FOREVER?

Kanye West - more Flashing Lights

Finally!!! Different versions of the video. Unfortunately, none of them relate to the first one, so I'm at a lost as to where that video was going or came from.

2nd official version appears to be a better interpretation of what the song appears to be about. However, the unofficial version, I think, was the best. What are your thoughts???


2nd official version


3rd official version


unofficial version

Obama and racism in America

I'm not naive to think that racism does not exist. However, I like think that even the most racist individual would have enough common sense to be colorblind on important issues. Especially when it comes to running the country. Very far-fetched, I know. I realize that it may never be. Not as long as we have ignorance like this. This type of ignorance truly makes me weep for the future of my country.