Okay. I get the 'happily single' part. That's cool. Some people seem to think that being single and happy is impossible. Personally, I love my husband, love him to death. But then there are those times when...ooooooooooo, don't get me started. If anything irrevocable ever happens and our relationship ends, I really don't think that I would ever, ever live with a man again. I could see dating again, but I couldn't see getting married again. It's just too much damn work and I'm not willing to through it a second time.
The 'permanently celibate' part? Hmmmmmm. Okay, not for me, but I'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who are fine without sex, ever. In fact, I just recently read about a 107 year-old man from Hong Kong that credits his long life on his sexual abstinence of over 70 years!!! (Damn!!! I would say something crass here, but I'll be good today.) However, if you are 'happily single' AND 'permanently celibate', then why, why I ask, would you place a profile on an ADULT singles site? If I'm not mistaken, most people go through the trouble of placing a profile on these sites to find people to date, hoping to find a relationship, which could possibly lead to sex, right? Of course, I think in this case, the members are probably strictly looking for just the sex, I'm sure. But I'm saying, I gotta ask again, if that is not your interest, why waste other people's time?
Her reason? In summary, from my prospective anyway, she takes perverse pleasure in going out with guys that want her but know that they can't. Just sounds like a big tease to me. To each their own, I suppose.
Out of curiosity, to any of my readers, I ask you, male or female, would you date a person who has taken a vow of chastity? And, I don't mean until marriage, but FOREVER?
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monogamy - Is it normal?
I consider myself a one-on-one, type of gal. I never quite understood polygamy or polyamourous relationships, at least not from a practical stand point. I mean, sure, maybe it would be nice to be like Empress Nympho from "History of the World, Part 1" and have my pick of manliness on any given evening. And, I'm sure that there are quite a few men out there love having their pick of women any given night. I'm sure that there are many doing so right now. But once the fantasy and the pleasure of the moment is over, then what? Back to the reality of emotions, diseases and unwanted pregnancies.
But in this world where monogamy is the social standard, I keep hearing time and time again that monogamy simply isn't normal. That's why men and women cheat. They are just giving in to human nature.
That got me to thinking. If it is our human nature to have more than one partner at a time, just where did the idea of monogamy come from? Is it more of a religious thing that we have just over time have socially accepted as law?
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Self-help for your mistress
As I was perusing the shelves at my local bookstore, I couldn't help but notice this title:
"Will He Really Leave Her for Me?"
I thought that I had misread the title. I mean, I had to have misread. A self-help book for the mistress???
I'm thinking that I could sum this book up in two words: highly unlikely! Is there really much more to say? Except maybe, DTMFA! I just don't feel that there is any hope in waiting around for a married man. And if he does leave his wife for the mistress, what kind of relationship would that be? Could there ever be any unconditional trust in that relationship? Personally, it would be a long time before I started to feel completely sure of his fidelity. If he did it to one woman, what makes me immune from him doing the same thing to me?
I guess this book has some insightful information for someone, however. It's current rating is 4 1/2 stars. Still, I can't help but feel that any information that is presented in this book is anything that a woman in this situation hasn't already heard before. But I suppose maybe she's heard before and wasn't ready to listen.
I still say just DTMFA and be done with it!!!
Any other thoughts?
"Will He Really Leave Her for Me?"
I thought that I had misread the title. I mean, I had to have misread. A self-help book for the mistress???
I'm thinking that I could sum this book up in two words: highly unlikely! Is there really much more to say? Except maybe, DTMFA! I just don't feel that there is any hope in waiting around for a married man. And if he does leave his wife for the mistress, what kind of relationship would that be? Could there ever be any unconditional trust in that relationship? Personally, it would be a long time before I started to feel completely sure of his fidelity. If he did it to one woman, what makes me immune from him doing the same thing to me?
I guess this book has some insightful information for someone, however. It's current rating is 4 1/2 stars. Still, I can't help but feel that any information that is presented in this book is anything that a woman in this situation hasn't already heard before. But I suppose maybe she's heard before and wasn't ready to listen.
I still say just DTMFA and be done with it!!!
Any other thoughts?
Friday, February 15, 2008
What I did for Valentine's Day
Nothing... Well, what do you expect a woman married for almost 9 years to say? The specialness of that day wears so thin the longer my husband and I are together. It was just another damn day. We didn't do anything dramatically different from any other day. We spent some quality time together on the sofa, watching "Cheaters" and "Cheaters Caught on Tape". Quite interesting viewing for Valentine's Day I suppose. It kills me that G4TV showed a marathon of "Cheaters" on Valentine's Day of all days.
We didn't watch too much of "Cheaters". You've seen one cheating scenario, you've pretty much have seen them all. The other show, "Cheaters Caught on Tape", some of these people went to great lengths to cheat.
In this one situation, the husband has a PI follow his wife while he is away on business. The PI follows the wife to the local mall. The wife goes into the bathroom, changes clothes and puts on a wig. She returns to the parking lot, but leaves in a different car. She is then followed to a hotel to meet up with her lover. My girl pulled some straight deep cover sh*t! Just to cheat on her husband?? Well, if she had to cheat, at least she put a little effort into it. I hate to see or hear about a cheating spouse or lover cheating at home. It's bad enough that he or she chose to cheat, but in the house that you share? Let me tell you something, if my husband ever decides to cheat on me, he had better have enough sense to NOT bring the bitch to our house. If I was to walk in on the indiscretion, I would not be responsible for my actions. It would be like that D'Angelo song, "Sh*t, Damn, Motherf*cker". I have the ability to choke out 200+ lbs men. I could probably put a serious amount of pain on any female trifling enough to not only sleep with my husband, but to do the deed in my house, in my bed. OH, HELL NO!!!
Another woman blew my mind with her infidelity. She basically caught herself. Let me explain. Her lover was engaged to be married and she did not want the wedding to happen. So, she hired a PI to follow her and her lover and videotape their indiscretions in very public places. Well, the tape got to the lover's fiancee and stopped the wedding, as planned. However, the video also got back to her husband. Well, that pretty much ended her marriage. On the bright side, at least her and her lover no longer need to sneak around to be together.
In another scenario, the wife is getting a bit suspicious of her husband's long, late night dog walks to the park and sends the PI on him. He takes a nice leisurely walk to the park's public restroom. He is met by another man, money exchanges and then they disappear into the bathroom for about 30 minutes. Well, I guess that we can just imagine what went on there. He later claims his repressed need for a little manly love led to his double life.
I would say that I wonder why people cheat in the first place. But as a former serial cheater in previous relationships, I guess everyone has their reasons. But the one that always seems to come up the most is lack of communication. I have had heard, both men and women, complain about he or she doesn't do this or doesn't do that. But then you ask the question, "well, have you told him/her how you feel?" The answer is almost always no. I don't know about the men, but we women often forget that our men are not mind readers. If we don't express ourselves in the relationship, how can we expect to get what we want and need from the relationship? And if we express ourselves and still don't get what we want and need, then we done what we can and it's time to go. Why bother sneaking around and cheating?
I hope you all enjoyed your Valentine's Day.
We didn't watch too much of "Cheaters". You've seen one cheating scenario, you've pretty much have seen them all. The other show, "Cheaters Caught on Tape", some of these people went to great lengths to cheat.
In this one situation, the husband has a PI follow his wife while he is away on business. The PI follows the wife to the local mall. The wife goes into the bathroom, changes clothes and puts on a wig. She returns to the parking lot, but leaves in a different car. She is then followed to a hotel to meet up with her lover. My girl pulled some straight deep cover sh*t! Just to cheat on her husband?? Well, if she had to cheat, at least she put a little effort into it. I hate to see or hear about a cheating spouse or lover cheating at home. It's bad enough that he or she chose to cheat, but in the house that you share? Let me tell you something, if my husband ever decides to cheat on me, he had better have enough sense to NOT bring the bitch to our house. If I was to walk in on the indiscretion, I would not be responsible for my actions. It would be like that D'Angelo song, "Sh*t, Damn, Motherf*cker". I have the ability to choke out 200+ lbs men. I could probably put a serious amount of pain on any female trifling enough to not only sleep with my husband, but to do the deed in my house, in my bed. OH, HELL NO!!!
Another woman blew my mind with her infidelity. She basically caught herself. Let me explain. Her lover was engaged to be married and she did not want the wedding to happen. So, she hired a PI to follow her and her lover and videotape their indiscretions in very public places. Well, the tape got to the lover's fiancee and stopped the wedding, as planned. However, the video also got back to her husband. Well, that pretty much ended her marriage. On the bright side, at least her and her lover no longer need to sneak around to be together.
In another scenario, the wife is getting a bit suspicious of her husband's long, late night dog walks to the park and sends the PI on him. He takes a nice leisurely walk to the park's public restroom. He is met by another man, money exchanges and then they disappear into the bathroom for about 30 minutes. Well, I guess that we can just imagine what went on there. He later claims his repressed need for a little manly love led to his double life.
I would say that I wonder why people cheat in the first place. But as a former serial cheater in previous relationships, I guess everyone has their reasons. But the one that always seems to come up the most is lack of communication. I have had heard, both men and women, complain about he or she doesn't do this or doesn't do that. But then you ask the question, "well, have you told him/her how you feel?" The answer is almost always no. I don't know about the men, but we women often forget that our men are not mind readers. If we don't express ourselves in the relationship, how can we expect to get what we want and need from the relationship? And if we express ourselves and still don't get what we want and need, then we done what we can and it's time to go. Why bother sneaking around and cheating?
I hope you all enjoyed your Valentine's Day.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Baltimore men
I was with a group of women over the weekend and, of course, the discussion veered towards the lack of good men in the Baltimore area. As usual, I was quick to defend my Baltimore brothers. I just hate to think that my hometown cannot breed a descent stock of good men. But I guess it is time to come out of my denial. Seeing that I haven't been in love's battlefield in almost 10 years, I started looking at some of my dating friends and relatives.
One of my sisters has been dating a guy she met while she was in the military. They have been together for about 2 or 3 years. He was raised in New York. Prior to that, she tried a couple of online dating services, with quite a few "interesting" dates in the area. One in particular that I remember her describing was with a guy who was 24 going on 10. His table manners were hideous (remember the "see food" joke when you were a kid). He had absolutely no intelligent conversion. It sounded more like babysitting than a date.
One of my friends is currently dating a guy from Virginia. They have a descent relationship. I always know that it must be serious when she tells the guy's name. She describes as a good man, better than what she kept running into here in Baltimore.
And the more that I think about, there has been only one other man in my life that I would have considered marrying. Yes guessed it, he was not born and raised in the greater Baltimore metro area. I had to go 8 hours west to find his ass!
But I kept thinking, what about my husband's friends that are single? With the exception of about 2 of them, they appear to be good dating material. Once again, my thesis does not hold consistently. Most of those men have relocate here from other states. They're complaining that there are not enough good, single, approachable women here.
To be continued...
One of my sisters has been dating a guy she met while she was in the military. They have been together for about 2 or 3 years. He was raised in New York. Prior to that, she tried a couple of online dating services, with quite a few "interesting" dates in the area. One in particular that I remember her describing was with a guy who was 24 going on 10. His table manners were hideous (remember the "see food" joke when you were a kid). He had absolutely no intelligent conversion. It sounded more like babysitting than a date.
One of my friends is currently dating a guy from Virginia. They have a descent relationship. I always know that it must be serious when she tells the guy's name. She describes as a good man, better than what she kept running into here in Baltimore.
And the more that I think about, there has been only one other man in my life that I would have considered marrying. Yes guessed it, he was not born and raised in the greater Baltimore metro area. I had to go 8 hours west to find his ass!
But I kept thinking, what about my husband's friends that are single? With the exception of about 2 of them, they appear to be good dating material. Once again, my thesis does not hold consistently. Most of those men have relocate here from other states. They're complaining that there are not enough good, single, approachable women here.
To be continued...
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